aerofanian

so, i'm about 7 months along on t, done with therapy, done with the name and gender change...i feel like there's not much left to do. i have a price for my top surgery and i'm working on being able to pay for that. and bottom surgery it a while down the road. since i dont think about my transition as much anymore, i cant figure out what to do with myself. i think i'm going to start writing poetry again, and get back into playing my guitar. maybe i'll start another band. what to do, what to do. my girlfriend and i have set a wedding date! june 23rd, 2007. now we are kinda rushing to get the first things in order. we need to pick a color for the wedding because her maid of honor lives in california and needs to have time to pick out a dress. exciting times!

Current Mood: mellow

so, i started t on valentine's day. i've been on t since about 5pm tuesday. the only thing i've noticed is that i've been a little irritated today. it seems like the littlest things are aggrivating me. the past day or two i've also been thinking about sex a little more. i dont know if it's because i know to expect that, or if it's really because of the t. i'm injecting 1ml every two weeks. the funny thing is, i know that i'm not gonna see any physical changes right away, but i cant help but look for them lol. my body, that i hated two weeks ago is starting to interest me. it's crazy! i'll check in again soon...

Current Mood: devious

so i dont know if any other ftms have this problem, but i am really down on myself a lot because i cant have sex like a bio guy. i mean, yeah i can buy a strap on and have sex with my girlfriend but it's not the same. it's almost not as intimate. the strap on just isnt a part of me, ya know? i want to give her everything i've got, put myself out there for her and be as intimate as i can, and the strap on just isnt good enough....i dont know, maybe i'm just crazy.

so...this is my very first entry. i'm at the very begining of my transition. i have my second therapy appointment tomorrow. it took so much courage to go to that first intake appointment...all those strange questions. with each visit to the hospital, i feel like i'm one step closer to my ultimate goal. my mom has finally accepted my transition. she told me that my happiness is the most important thing in my life, and that i shouldnt worry about what anyone else thinks. i needed to hear that from my mother so bad. it felt like a thousand pounds was lifted off my shoulders. she told me she'd support me no matter what i chose.

there's so much going on right now in my life. my fiancee is moving in next weekend. i'll be flying to southern california friday the 6th of january and driving back to chicago. i love her so much and i wouldnt want anyone else with me on this journey. its gonna be a hell of a ride!

....i cant wait to grow a beard :)

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: Queen

hey everyone. my name is ian and i'm a 20 year old ftm. i'm starting my transition and i need someone to talk to who can relate to what i'm going through. i had my first "male" haircut yesterday, and i hope to get in to see a doctor soon who can help me get on T. my only problem right now is my money situation. i dont have any health insurance, and even if i did, i wouldnt know if this type of thing was covered. if there is anyone who wants to talk with me, that can relate with me, just leave me a message.

Current Mood: calm